PalmdaleJust like bums, we used to stay in the slums of LA by the way Gang-bangers killin' each other for rep, sellin' rock cocaine on my doorstep Had a ball to bounce plus a bike to ride, but my mamma never would let me play outside. But when I got enrolled in elementary school, started bangin' like a fuckin' fool. So cool, throwin' up gang signs to the gangster (?), shot an enemy from across the street Mamma came home, said she got a good job. Daddy did too. Now they don't squab. Financially, we improvin'. 2 months later, son, we movin'. No more duckin' from shotgun shells. Bought a two-story house in East Palmdale. (give it to me now.) Palmdale, come back to me. I need you and I love you, baby. Palmdale, come back to me. (Check it out, check it out, check it out.) No more rats and no more roaches, livin' next door ito football coaches. Now I got a new place to sell me crack. Now I got little white kids to jack. I stopped wearin' blue, wasn't trippin' on red. Too busy squabbin' with the skinheads. Stupid questions, distract the class. Rubbin' little white girls on the ass. I didn't really care if I passed or failed, I knew I was headed for the NFL, Until the playoff game, shoulder got hurt. I thought about my future, layin' in the dirt. I can't jump, I can't flinch. Superstar player, ridin' the bench. Graduate from school? Don't make me laugh. I got an F+ in basic math. (give it to me now.) Palmdale, (Hell, yeah.) come back to me. I gotta do one song for my neighborhood. Bucccoooc! Palmdale, come back to me. (check it out.) I knew I couldn't make it in the white man's world, so I bought me some khakis and a Geri curl. I knew I couldn't make it to the NFL, so I went to East Palmdale and started slingin' yell. Fo' sho'! I was makin' crazy dough. Shoulda dropped outta school a long time ago. Bought a cell phone, like a nut. Now I deliver like Pizza Hut. I drunk whisky and Bacardi. I sold dope to anybody. Me and my homies sold dubs and dimes, took turns bustin' rhymes just to pass the time. A white man drove up to my spot. He said, Hey, homeboy, what you got? I put a fat rock inside his hand. About 25 sheriffs jumped out the van. (Get down, punk.) Palmdale, (Hell, yeah) come back to me. I need you and I love you, baby. Palmdale, come back to me. (check it out, check it out, check it out.) Can't get drunk. Can't get blunted. LA County, 95 hundred. Crips wanna take my All-stars. Bloods wanna eat my Snicker bars. Them peckerwoods don't want none, but the Mexican's straight own one. Them Essays, (???) that Essays always try to test me, So I jumped off the bed, cause I ain't no punk. Jammed his head up against the bunk. Socked that Cholo in his chin. Black mutha-fuckas scared to jump in. Sheriff broke it up when we hit the floor. I kept talkin' shit cause I want some more. Back in town, we get along with the brown. Now I'm in jail, they tryin' to beat me down. Jail is hell, but I'll adapt. Won't hesitate to get in a scrap. 'Cause I'm down for mine, and that's for certain, sittin' in the hole with my knuckles hurtin'. (Palmdale) Palmdale, (Hell, yeah.) come back to me. I need you and I love you, baby. Palmdale, come back to me. (check it out, homeboy.) Now I got a fucked up life. Two bad kids and a naggin' wife. Dead end job at the airport. Check too short to pay the house note. Turn on the TV, then I see different homeboys that went to school with me Playin' in the NFL. We used to kick back in East Palmdale. Rodney Williams. Lorenz Tate. Zeno plays for Colorado State. I wish my homeboys much success, but at the same time, I still get depressed. Walkin' through the wind with a cup full of gin thinkin' 'bout things that coulda, woulda, shoulda been. I wipe my tears, sip my beers, wish good luck to my peers. (Palmdale.) Palmdale, come back to me. I need you and I love you, baby. Palmdale, come back to me. Cause that's where my heartache began, heartache began. Palmdale, come back to me. I need you and I love you, baby. Palmdale, come back to me. Cause that's where my heartache began, heartache began. Palmdale, come back to me. (Hey, all the homeboys on the football team, where y'all at?) Palmdale, come back to me. (Hey, wherever you at in the world, I don't care if you in Japan, Africa hey, you know how we used to do it, man. Hey, hey, hey.) Yo, let me get a Palm (Palm!) Yo, let me get a Dale (Dale!) Yo, what do we sell? (Yell!) Yo, where we fittin' to go? (We fittin' to go back to jail!) Palmdale, come back to me. (Hey, all the homeboys on the football team, where y'all at?) Palmdale, come back to me. (Hey, wherever you at in the world, I don't care if you in Japan, Africa hey, you know how we used to do it, man. Hey, hey, hey.) Yo, let me get a Palm (Palm!) Yo, let me get a Dale (Dale!) Yo, what do we sell? (Yell!) Yo, where we fittin' to go? (We fittin' to go back to jail!) Palmdale, come back to me. (Hey, all the homeboys on the football team, where y'all at?) Palmdale, come back to me. (Hey, wherever you at in the world, I don't care if you in Japan, Africa hey, you know how we used to do it, man. Hey, hey, hey.) Yo, let me get a Palm (Palm!) Yo, let me get a Dale (Dale!) Yo, what do we sell? (Yell!) Yo, where we fittin' to go? (We fittin' to go back to jail!) Palmdale, come back to me. (Hey, all the homeboys on the football team, where y'all at?) Palmdale, come back to me. (Hey, wherever you at in the world, I don't care if you in Japan, Africa hey, you know how we used to do it, man. Hey, hey, hey.) Yo, let me get a Palm (Palm!) Yo, let me get a Dale (Dale!) Yo, what do we sell? (Yell!) Yo, where we fittin' to go? (We fittin' to go back to jail!) Dale. Palmdale. (Hey, everybody just clap your hands.) Dale. Palmdale. (C'mon, c'mon, c'mon. Buci-buci-bucccoooc!) Dale. Palmdale. Dale. (Where them Falcons at?) Palmdale. (It ain't over 'til the fat man sings.) Dale. (Little Rock can't get none. What, what?) Palmdale. Dale. Palmdale... Afroman Index Crazy Rap(Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell it. It was this blind man, right? Man, check this out- it was this blind man, right? He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right? Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'? He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said, Woooooo, good morning, ladies. You like that shit, man? Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit, man. I tell you what- my man on the guitar, fool on the drums, everybody just crowd around the mic, I'll tell you all these mutha-fuckin' jokes. But first, I'ma start it off like this. Hey, help me sing it, homeboy.) Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need. We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed. And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong. So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems. Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims. So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville. If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will. Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it Eastside Palmdale. When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up for sale. Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap cds when I met a little girl named Jan. I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan. We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo', fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro. Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right. She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white. I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got my ass lookin' like a ZEBRA! I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet. I ran. I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4. Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right. The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night. But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad, that's the best damn pussy I ever had. I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine. I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time. Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need. We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed. And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong. So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems. Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims. So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville. If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will. I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she looked good. I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine. I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African. I fucked her once, I fucked her twice. I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice. Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia. Had a big butt and big titties, too, so I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo. See, I met this lady from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ass, and she said, Aiiiiieeee! Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch. Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky. She said, I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck me. I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices. Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need. We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed. And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong. Hey, wait a minute man, check this out. I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her titties were filled with Hennesy. That country music nearly drove me crazy, but I rode that ass and said, Yes, Miss Daisy! Met this lady in Oklahoma; put that pussy in a coma. Met this lady in Michigan; I can't wait 'til I fuck that bitch again. Met a real black girl in South Carolina; fucked her 'til she turned into a white albino. Fucked this hooker in Iowa. I fucked her on credit, so I owe her. Fucked this girl, down in Georgia; came in her mouth. Man, I thought I told ya. Met this beautiful sexy ho; she just ran cross the border of Mexico. Fine young thing, said her name's Maria. I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla. I wanna get married, but I can't afford it. I know I'ma cry when she gets deported. Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need. We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed. And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong. Have you ever went over to a girl's house to fuck, but the pussy just ain't no good? (SAY WHAT?) And then you're getting' upset cause you can't get her wet, plus you in the wrong neighborhood? So you try to play it off and eat the pussy, but it takes her so long to come (SAY WHAT?) Then a dude walks in. That's her big boyfriend, and he asks you where you from? (Where you from, man?) So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain (I don't bang.), you start talkin' real fast. But he's already mad, cause you fuckin' his wife, so he starts beatin' on your ass. Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody, your dick was hard but now it's soft. (WHUT?) You thought you had a girl to rock your world, now you still gotta go jack off. Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need. We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed... Afroman Index Let's All Get DrunkLet's all get drunk tonight. (Hell yeah.) I hope I don't fight with a punk tonight. (C'mon.) Let's all get high tonight. Maybe nobody will die tonight. (C'mon, dance with me baby, c'mon.) Let's all sell yell tonight. (Sling yay.) I hope I don't go back to jail tonight. (Not tonight.) Let's go to the club tonight. Find a woman that wanna make love tonight. Let's get dumb, drink some rum. Make my teeth and gums feel real numb. We'll be thinking 'bout surviving while we're drinking and we're driving. Hope I don't wreck when my vision gets blurry. Sober up looking at an all white jury. Judge don't like no drunk like me. Punk might give me strike number three. Cause when I'm drunk and when I'm high, I don't give a damn 'bout a DUI. Let's just get lit, dance like a nitwit, try to talk to the women that we can't get with. Me and my staff make everybody laugh. If the beer runs out, we can all go half. It's Friday night. Got the perfect weather. Lets get drunk together. Let's all get drunk tonight. (Hell yeah.) I hope I don't fight with a punk tonight. (C'mon.) Let's all get high tonight. Maybe nobody will die tonight. (C'mon, dance with me baby, c'mon.) Let's all sell yell tonight. (Sling yay.) I hope I don't go back to jail tonight. (Not tonight.) Let's go to the club tonight. Find a woman that wanna make love tonight. Bacardi. Colt .45. Let's party. We're still alive. Tomorrow brings pain and sorrow, but tonight, we're all right. Drink that beer 'til your belly can't hold it. Tell the homeboys, we fittin' to get loaded. Rollin' through the Ante-dope Valley out there. Hope the cops don't smell That beer on my breath, cause if the sheriff catch a whiff of that fifth, it'll probly knock him stiff. Don't look dumb if my breath on hum. Stick your hand in you're pocket, please, pass some gum, So the cops can't tell my breath smell. We won't go to jail, we'll go to Palmdale With the beautiful women and the beautiful weather, we can both get drunk together. Let's all get drunk tonight. (Hell yeah.) I hope I don't fight with a punk tonight. (C'mon.) Let's all get high tonight. Maybe nobody will die tonight. (C'mon, dance with me baby, c'mon.) Let's all sell yell tonight. (Sling yay.) I hope I don't go back to jail tonight. (Not tonight.) Let's go to the club tonight. Find a woman that wanna make love tonight. Baby, I beg your pardon, but your outfit's giving me a hard-on. Maybe some way, maybe some how, you could dance with me, right here, right now. Been lookin' at you all night long. That DJ's playing my favorite song. Everything is splendid, don't mean no harm. Don't get offended when I pull your arm. I ain't felt this good since I don't know when, and I might not feel this good again. It's Friday night, beautiful weather, let's get drunk together. (C'mon, y'all.) Let's all get drunk tonight. (Hell yeah.) I hope I don't fight with a punk tonight. (C'mon.) Let's all get high tonight. Maybe nobody will die tonight. (C'mon, dance with me baby, c'mon.) Let's all sell yell tonight. (Sling yay.) I hope I don't go back to jail tonight. (Not tonight.) Let's go to the club tonight. Find a woman that wanna make love tonight. Let's all get drunk tonight. I hope I don't fight with a punk tonight. Let's all get high tonight. Maybe nobody will die tonight. Let's all sell yell tonight. I hope I don't go back to jail tonight. Let's go to the club tonight. Find a girl that wanna make love tonight. Afroman Index |
